This evening I went with my parents to an event called Blue Christmas. One of our local funeral homes offers it at this time of year as a generic memorial for everyone who has lost loved ones over the last twelve months. (My grandfather died some months ago).
We put lights on a Christmas tree and lit candles, listened to a beautiful piece of music, and heard a couple brief reflections on grief. It was an experience of shared suffering and giving permission for people to face their feelings.
What stood out to me was the need (in respect for the widely varied spiritual beliefs or lack thereof represented in attendance) for there to be no reference to God, heaven, prayer, or the like. There were a couple very nonspecific suggestions of something beyond the material life, but it was so couched in careful sensitivity as to be essentially nonexistent.
What can you offer grieving people if you don't offer even a totally generic faith? Not much really. Acceptance of grief, acknowledgment of confusion, rituals and symbols with no clear meaning.
You can help people look back and honour memories of their lost loved ones. But you can't say much of anything about the future. For people deep in grief the future can be extremely bleak; and unending sense of emptiness and loss.
The only help for grief is hope.
Hope is the realm of faith. Not any single faith in particular necessarily, but some form of faith.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Trade Secrets
I think it was the US Army that used to recruit with the slogan "It's the toughest job you'll ever love". It's a good slogan, you can see why they chose it.
The thing is, I think I've heard a lot of other careers described with similar sentiments; pastoring, teaching, counseling, social work, nursing,...
At the risk of causing offense to a lot of people I really like and respect, I think many of those jobs really aren't that tough. At least they don't have to be.
I've seen some people in most of those fields who are really not excellent at what they do. The basic processes or systems of the field are sound enough that if you just follow along it works out a lot of the time. It's still a lot of work in most cases, but maybe not as incredibly hard as we tell ourselves.
That's not meant to suggest that a lot of people in these fields are coasting and generally incompetent; just that excellence is pretty rare.
Before I became a pastor, and certainly in my first few years of it, I bought into that. I had this sense that my role was incredibly difficult and I had to employ all my energies to fulfill the expectations. I was partly right I guess. It did take everything I had in me to try to meet the expectations.
As time went by I realised that I could be a whole lot more effective if I stopped trying so hard and gave up on the idea of being a great pastor; just accepted the role of being myself as best I can.
Of course it didn't turn out exactly as I hoped since I'm not a pastor anymore, so I guess I'm not one of the excellent ones.
Still, I really don't regret it. There were people who really wanted me to just play the part of pastor the way others did, and I refused. I couldn't feel right about that.
Bottom line is this I guess (after this rambling rant); there are lots of fields that are well developed enough that mediocre is actually pretty good. The only way to find out how capable we really are is to step outside the system and try something risky. In my case it didn't work out, our church plant closed and I'm going to be doing something else for a living for a while at least. But I'm glad to not be playing along.
p.s. I'm not saying everyone has to do what I did or that people who don't are mediocre. But if you're annoyed reading this and wondering if I've got you in mind as I write, you can feel free. You're probably wrong about my opinion of you, but if it makes you sincerely ask whether you're excellent or mediocre it's worth it to have you ticked...
The thing is, I think I've heard a lot of other careers described with similar sentiments; pastoring, teaching, counseling, social work, nursing,...
At the risk of causing offense to a lot of people I really like and respect, I think many of those jobs really aren't that tough. At least they don't have to be.
I've seen some people in most of those fields who are really not excellent at what they do. The basic processes or systems of the field are sound enough that if you just follow along it works out a lot of the time. It's still a lot of work in most cases, but maybe not as incredibly hard as we tell ourselves.
That's not meant to suggest that a lot of people in these fields are coasting and generally incompetent; just that excellence is pretty rare.
Before I became a pastor, and certainly in my first few years of it, I bought into that. I had this sense that my role was incredibly difficult and I had to employ all my energies to fulfill the expectations. I was partly right I guess. It did take everything I had in me to try to meet the expectations.
As time went by I realised that I could be a whole lot more effective if I stopped trying so hard and gave up on the idea of being a great pastor; just accepted the role of being myself as best I can.
Of course it didn't turn out exactly as I hoped since I'm not a pastor anymore, so I guess I'm not one of the excellent ones.
Still, I really don't regret it. There were people who really wanted me to just play the part of pastor the way others did, and I refused. I couldn't feel right about that.
Bottom line is this I guess (after this rambling rant); there are lots of fields that are well developed enough that mediocre is actually pretty good. The only way to find out how capable we really are is to step outside the system and try something risky. In my case it didn't work out, our church plant closed and I'm going to be doing something else for a living for a while at least. But I'm glad to not be playing along.
p.s. I'm not saying everyone has to do what I did or that people who don't are mediocre. But if you're annoyed reading this and wondering if I've got you in mind as I write, you can feel free. You're probably wrong about my opinion of you, but if it makes you sincerely ask whether you're excellent or mediocre it's worth it to have you ticked...
Sunday, November 25, 2007
What if we didn't know...
Religion Profile:
We are considering an ancient religion that can now be found in widely differing expressions in many places around the world, though it may not be recognizable to it’s original founders.
Multiple divinities and many other spiritual beings can be identified in their sacred texts and worship, although they offer a mostly confusing explanation of themselves as monotheistic.
There is some dispute about the identity of the founder of the religion with two primary candidates, one of which claimed to have a supernatural vision of the former, though they never met in life. Many adherents claim to have similar visions with varying degrees of frequency. The prominence of mystical elements is common in the worship, though some make no personal claim of such experience and consider it suspect among others.
Another outstanding feature of their worship is the practice of ritualistic symbolic cannibalism. Some practice this only rarely, others at every gathering and even in private. Many use it as a rite of passage into adulthood.
Currently there are such wide varieties of expression in their worship gatherings that an outsider would be unlikely to see them as part of the same faith. The relative success of this religion is rooted in broad adaptability to cultures, though this causes a great deal of controversy among adherents who often argue that their own particular expression of the faith is the only one that is true to the founders.
There have been many dramatic and violent schisms which have become permanent, though there are occasional brief attempts to reconcile.
There is some confusion about the sacred texts. While there is general agreement that the title is “The Book” (English translation); the separate texts included within that cover vary significantly, and the degree to which they are considered authoritative or relevant causes further dispute.
Clearly, it is nearly impossible to describe this religion accurately because there is little that all adherents can agree on. The history is full of violence, conflict, and difficulty. It is ironic that the founder spoke of himself as the way, the truth, and the life and is worshipped as the Prince of Peace. Christianity is a very complex religion.
We are considering an ancient religion that can now be found in widely differing expressions in many places around the world, though it may not be recognizable to it’s original founders.
Multiple divinities and many other spiritual beings can be identified in their sacred texts and worship, although they offer a mostly confusing explanation of themselves as monotheistic.
There is some dispute about the identity of the founder of the religion with two primary candidates, one of which claimed to have a supernatural vision of the former, though they never met in life. Many adherents claim to have similar visions with varying degrees of frequency. The prominence of mystical elements is common in the worship, though some make no personal claim of such experience and consider it suspect among others.
Another outstanding feature of their worship is the practice of ritualistic symbolic cannibalism. Some practice this only rarely, others at every gathering and even in private. Many use it as a rite of passage into adulthood.
Currently there are such wide varieties of expression in their worship gatherings that an outsider would be unlikely to see them as part of the same faith. The relative success of this religion is rooted in broad adaptability to cultures, though this causes a great deal of controversy among adherents who often argue that their own particular expression of the faith is the only one that is true to the founders.
There have been many dramatic and violent schisms which have become permanent, though there are occasional brief attempts to reconcile.
There is some confusion about the sacred texts. While there is general agreement that the title is “The Book” (English translation); the separate texts included within that cover vary significantly, and the degree to which they are considered authoritative or relevant causes further dispute.
Clearly, it is nearly impossible to describe this religion accurately because there is little that all adherents can agree on. The history is full of violence, conflict, and difficulty. It is ironic that the founder spoke of himself as the way, the truth, and the life and is worshipped as the Prince of Peace. Christianity is a very complex religion.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Kids and Careers
Last weekend I had two interesting experiences.
Saturday night I went to a high school reunion to see some people I haven't spoken to in 16 years. Sunday we celebrated my oldest brother's 40th birthday.
It was good to talk with some old friends on Saturday night and get updates on their life stories. With few exceptions the conversations didn't go much beyond where we live and work and who we live with.
Maybe the reason I hesitated about going was partly because I'm not working right now (though I have just agreed to an interesting new position starting in February), and it's still a little tough to not be a pastor anymore.
But I think the real doubt was just that I didn't want to bother going to see people I haven't seen in so long if I wasn't going to see them again for another 16 years. As it turns out I enjoyed it and it was nice to catch up with folks. I'll have to see if it leads to any further contact.
For my brother's birthday we gave him 40 different beers from around the world. Which meant he really couldn't transport them home on the bus, so I got to spend an extra hour with him on the drive to Toronto. We had one of the best conversations I can remember. It started with typical work and relationship stuff, but before long we were discussing things that motivate us, give meaning to our lives, and the struggles that come when those things aren't working the way we want them to.
The bottom line is this; as much as I enjoyed Saturday night, I long for conversations like I had on Sunday. Kids and careers are central aspects of life (certainly mine). But for many of us there is something deeper happening under the surface that rarely gets touched. That's where I want to relate.
Saturday night I went to a high school reunion to see some people I haven't spoken to in 16 years. Sunday we celebrated my oldest brother's 40th birthday.
It was good to talk with some old friends on Saturday night and get updates on their life stories. With few exceptions the conversations didn't go much beyond where we live and work and who we live with.
Maybe the reason I hesitated about going was partly because I'm not working right now (though I have just agreed to an interesting new position starting in February), and it's still a little tough to not be a pastor anymore.
But I think the real doubt was just that I didn't want to bother going to see people I haven't seen in so long if I wasn't going to see them again for another 16 years. As it turns out I enjoyed it and it was nice to catch up with folks. I'll have to see if it leads to any further contact.
For my brother's birthday we gave him 40 different beers from around the world. Which meant he really couldn't transport them home on the bus, so I got to spend an extra hour with him on the drive to Toronto. We had one of the best conversations I can remember. It started with typical work and relationship stuff, but before long we were discussing things that motivate us, give meaning to our lives, and the struggles that come when those things aren't working the way we want them to.
The bottom line is this; as much as I enjoyed Saturday night, I long for conversations like I had on Sunday. Kids and careers are central aspects of life (certainly mine). But for many of us there is something deeper happening under the surface that rarely gets touched. That's where I want to relate.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Maybe it's not that difficult...
Everyone I know is an evangelist...Everyone.
It's something we do constantly without often having any intent or even awareness that we are doing it.
It rarely offends anyone, is most often done quite sensitively and leaves most people with a clear opportunity to respond.
We are all evangelists; sharing with friends, colleagues, and neighbours the good news we've discovered about restaurants, TV shows, and music.
Few of us hesitate to mention in conversation that we ate a good meal out last weekend. We're comfortable hearing that from a friend and naturally consider whether we might want to have a similar meal ourselves without feeling threatened. We feel free to ask more about the restaurant, where it is, how expensive it is, whether there's a dress code or not... We might even suggest going with out friend the next time they go.
We're also comfortable telling others about new friendships we've made in most cases without pressure. If there seems to be commonality between our two friends we might even suggest introducing them or doing something together.
But somehow when it comes to Jesus it takes on this ominous tone. We cramp up and feel overwhelmed and unequipped. Churches spend big money on Evangelism plans, courses, and materials. We hope that some other person with the gift of evangelism will take on this onerous burden.
Salespeople generally know that a personal reference is the most valuable marketing tool. We just bought a car from a dealer because they had given my parents a good deal and they gladly did the same for us.
I wonder what would happen if we just determined to speak as openly about our faith and our churches as we do of our favourite movies...
It's something we do constantly without often having any intent or even awareness that we are doing it.
It rarely offends anyone, is most often done quite sensitively and leaves most people with a clear opportunity to respond.
We are all evangelists; sharing with friends, colleagues, and neighbours the good news we've discovered about restaurants, TV shows, and music.
Few of us hesitate to mention in conversation that we ate a good meal out last weekend. We're comfortable hearing that from a friend and naturally consider whether we might want to have a similar meal ourselves without feeling threatened. We feel free to ask more about the restaurant, where it is, how expensive it is, whether there's a dress code or not... We might even suggest going with out friend the next time they go.
We're also comfortable telling others about new friendships we've made in most cases without pressure. If there seems to be commonality between our two friends we might even suggest introducing them or doing something together.
But somehow when it comes to Jesus it takes on this ominous tone. We cramp up and feel overwhelmed and unequipped. Churches spend big money on Evangelism plans, courses, and materials. We hope that some other person with the gift of evangelism will take on this onerous burden.
Salespeople generally know that a personal reference is the most valuable marketing tool. We just bought a car from a dealer because they had given my parents a good deal and they gladly did the same for us.
I wonder what would happen if we just determined to speak as openly about our faith and our churches as we do of our favourite movies...
Monday, October 15, 2007
Obstructed Views
At sports events and concerts sometimes people find themselves stuck behind a post or peering around the edge of the bleachers to see the action. At best it's an annoyance, and in most cases it's noted on the ticket so you've got some advance warning. The problem would be if somehow we thought that what we can see from behind the post was the whole game.
All too often that happens in our faith. Various obstacles interfere with us getting a clear view of Jesus. Sometimes it's our sin that gets in the way; but a lot of the time it can be caused by the churches we're a part of. We layer beliefs, doctrines, traditions, and practices on top of each other so much that I fear we've buried Jesus.
The problem is that it's nearly impossible to dig him out again since we usually don't know what the obstructions are...
Sunday, September 23, 2007
The Imaginary Jesus
This morning I led the service at St Mark's United Church where I grew up. It's always a challenge to know what to communicate to a group I don't know.
What we ended up digging into was Matthew 16 where Simon Peter realizes that Jesus really is the Christ, but then Jesus shows him that even that revelation wasn't complete.
I think pretty much everyone in our culture has some ideas about Jesus. We can imagine him to some degree depending on our background, experiences, and what we've been exposed to. If we take a few minutes and consider a few questions we can draft a picture of our own imaginary Jesus. Try these to get started:
1. When you imagine Jesus, what does he look like? (appearance, race,
build, clothing, setting, etc.)
2. When you imagine Jesus, what sorts of things do you most often picture
him doing?
3. What do you imagine Jesus saying?
4. When you imagine Jesus, what emotions do you imagine him expressing?
5. What sort of political views do you imagine Jesus to have?
6. Who do you imagine Jesus hanging around with?
7. What do you imagine Jesus being passionate about?
8. What would your imaginary Jesus most likely say to you?
I'd love to hear some thoughts back!
What we ended up digging into was Matthew 16 where Simon Peter realizes that Jesus really is the Christ, but then Jesus shows him that even that revelation wasn't complete.
I think pretty much everyone in our culture has some ideas about Jesus. We can imagine him to some degree depending on our background, experiences, and what we've been exposed to. If we take a few minutes and consider a few questions we can draft a picture of our own imaginary Jesus. Try these to get started:
1. When you imagine Jesus, what does he look like? (appearance, race,
build, clothing, setting, etc.)
2. When you imagine Jesus, what sorts of things do you most often picture
him doing?
3. What do you imagine Jesus saying?
4. When you imagine Jesus, what emotions do you imagine him expressing?
5. What sort of political views do you imagine Jesus to have?
6. Who do you imagine Jesus hanging around with?
7. What do you imagine Jesus being passionate about?
8. What would your imaginary Jesus most likely say to you?
I'd love to hear some thoughts back!
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Doing it right
Last Sunday was the closing service for our church.
I really wasn't sure how any of us would react.
We tried to design a gathering that would be honest about the hurt and confusion many of us are feeling, but still ultimately focus on God's good faithfulness. I think we managed it...
There were a couple moments that really struck me hard. Knowing how disappointed some people were and still seeing them choose to sing songs honouring God was nearly overwhelming. Hearing pledges of continued faith as we prayed at the end of the service impacted me too.
So, as much as I do truly wish that we were continuing; there is some consolation in seeing that we were able to help one another deal with the emotions in a real way. After continually talking about authenticity the whole time we existed as a church it meant a lot to see us living it in a challenging time.
I don't know what might be next for our people. I know some are trying to figure out a way to explore possibilities of continuing in some form and that would really interest me. Still, there's certainly no guarantee of that coming together. In the mean time we've got to start looking for a church for our family.
This weekend I'm speaking (for what will probably be the last time) at Forestview Oakville. Again, I don't know if that will draw up some emotion. But I do know that I can go back there with a sense that what we did with the Hamilton congregation was risky, bold, and faithful. That's not a bad way to sign off.
I really wasn't sure how any of us would react.
We tried to design a gathering that would be honest about the hurt and confusion many of us are feeling, but still ultimately focus on God's good faithfulness. I think we managed it...
There were a couple moments that really struck me hard. Knowing how disappointed some people were and still seeing them choose to sing songs honouring God was nearly overwhelming. Hearing pledges of continued faith as we prayed at the end of the service impacted me too.
So, as much as I do truly wish that we were continuing; there is some consolation in seeing that we were able to help one another deal with the emotions in a real way. After continually talking about authenticity the whole time we existed as a church it meant a lot to see us living it in a challenging time.
I don't know what might be next for our people. I know some are trying to figure out a way to explore possibilities of continuing in some form and that would really interest me. Still, there's certainly no guarantee of that coming together. In the mean time we've got to start looking for a church for our family.
This weekend I'm speaking (for what will probably be the last time) at Forestview Oakville. Again, I don't know if that will draw up some emotion. But I do know that I can go back there with a sense that what we did with the Hamilton congregation was risky, bold, and faithful. That's not a bad way to sign off.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
This Time It's Personal
It's been a long time since I've posted here. I've been updating the blog at my church fairly regularly over the last year and a half so you can catch up with my ponderings from then at: http://forestviewchurch.ca/Blogs/Chris/
The big news in my world is that the decision has been made to close down our congregation that I've been pastoring for the last 17 months. There's a lot of competing emotion and thoughts for me in this (it wasn't my choice). Still, I come back to a confidence that those who made the decision are people I trust and respect, even if I don't necessarily agree with them. I know that they are people of prayer who's sincere desire is to honour God and be caring towards people.
I don't know what will be next for me. The first priority is to do my best to help our congregation through this transition; whether that's into another church or into some new form of gathering together. After that I know I need to get some rest from the last seven years of church work and do the hard work of figuring out who I am if I'm not leading this church anymore. I'll also finally finish my Masters degree by Christmas.
More than likely this will become my outlet for the next few months. Feel free to hang around for the ride and chip in with your thoughts too.
The big news in my world is that the decision has been made to close down our congregation that I've been pastoring for the last 17 months. There's a lot of competing emotion and thoughts for me in this (it wasn't my choice). Still, I come back to a confidence that those who made the decision are people I trust and respect, even if I don't necessarily agree with them. I know that they are people of prayer who's sincere desire is to honour God and be caring towards people.
I don't know what will be next for me. The first priority is to do my best to help our congregation through this transition; whether that's into another church or into some new form of gathering together. After that I know I need to get some rest from the last seven years of church work and do the hard work of figuring out who I am if I'm not leading this church anymore. I'll also finally finish my Masters degree by Christmas.
More than likely this will become my outlet for the next few months. Feel free to hang around for the ride and chip in with your thoughts too.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
An Inconvenient Lie
Al Gore created global warming.
Yes, its entirely true and I will prove it right here and now. So pull up a comfy futon and a pleasurable beverage and sit at the feet of your instructor...
Many of you (okay, I know "many" people is a gross exaggeration of my readership, but I digress). Many of you have probably seen Gore's propaganda film "An Inconvenient Truth". I have not yet seen movie but why should that prevent me exposing it as a cheap means of seeking political office.
See, Gore is a keen observer of the American political scene and surely he has noted that throughout that history (at least in the last four years) it has been a sure means of election to create a major crisis and claim to be able to resolve it. Actually fixing anything doesn't seem all that important, at least if you're already in your second term.
So what should we do?
It's simple. We need to refuse to vote for Al Gore. It's our duty as Canadians!
So, Gore created global warming. He personally invented it and will use his movie to ensure he gets to be president. A shrewd move isn't it!?!
Yes, its entirely true and I will prove it right here and now. So pull up a comfy futon and a pleasurable beverage and sit at the feet of your instructor...
Many of you (okay, I know "many" people is a gross exaggeration of my readership, but I digress). Many of you have probably seen Gore's propaganda film "An Inconvenient Truth". I have not yet seen movie but why should that prevent me exposing it as a cheap means of seeking political office.
See, Gore is a keen observer of the American political scene and surely he has noted that throughout that history (at least in the last four years) it has been a sure means of election to create a major crisis and claim to be able to resolve it. Actually fixing anything doesn't seem all that important, at least if you're already in your second term.
So what should we do?
It's simple. We need to refuse to vote for Al Gore. It's our duty as Canadians!
So, Gore created global warming. He personally invented it and will use his movie to ensure he gets to be president. A shrewd move isn't it!?!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
