Better Than What I Want

Friends of mine keep revealing to me through their lives how very shallow my vision of Christian community really is. Today I read an article that made that all too clear.
When we planted our (now closed) church we had some honest discussions about what we wanted it to be like. We talked about having a strong sense of community, and what that actually meant. It was an easy discussion when we were all imagining our preferred co-congregants. We all wanted to find some best friends for ourselves and our children. We also wanted sincerely to be a place for otherwise outcast people to be welcomed. But what that would look like was much more complex.
We really enjoyed having one older man (call him Jim) attend our church. Jim was friendly and positive, although he had a hard time communicating and we didn't always know what he was trying to tell us. We liked having him at church and small group. I miss him since we closed down last summer.
A more challenging thought was what would we do if Karla Homolka, who had recently been released from prison, showed up one Sunday. I know a church that had to deal with a halfway house for sex offenders on their block and had to decide how to wrestle with their desire for safety for their community and their desire for hope for these hated felons.
Community isn't easy when it is most real.

Getting it right

I've recently started teaching the youth Sunday School class some weeks at the church we're attending. It's very interesting to hear these young people express their faith and try, on my part, to both affirm what they have understood so far and challenge them to broaden their perspectives.
In every expression of the Christian faith there is something lacking. The truth and grace of Jesus is so elaborate it can't be properly expressed in any one paradigm. That's probably why even Jesus could only explain it a variety of images, stories, and actions. It's big, complex, and wondrous.
I find myself tending towards criticism of the way other people express their faith far too often. I catch myself nitpicking and looking for the flaws instead of appreciating the admittedly incomplete portrayals of what God is really up to in all this mess.
Al Hsu from InterVarsity Press wrote an excellent article on this that I read today. It's well worth the few minutes to read and much longer to consider implications.
Al also wrote one of my favourite recent books; The Suburban Christian, and has an interesting blog. I'd gladly buy him dinner...

I used to be a pastor

This evening I was the guest speaker at 24/7 church in Burlington where my friend Kip Philp is the pastor. They've been meeting for a little over a year now in what until quite recently was a fairly notorious dance club. It was good to b with the people there. It's a much more diverse congragation than I expected based on the location.

I really enjoyed having the opportunity to speak. It's been several months since I've done a sermon; and I realised how much I miss it.

A few years ago I really loved guest speaking. It was a rush to go somewhere new and meet new people. I confess I also liked the almost guaranteed affirmation that came after the service from having heart level conversations and praying with people who didn't really know me. It seems like everyone loves the unfamiliar voice; and of course they would usually get the best message I'd done over the previous several months...

I don't get so pumped for guesting anymore. I'm still happy to do it to help out and I think I have some ability/gift in communicating that I like to exercise. But really, without the ongoing relationship with the congregation there's a big piece missing for me. I want to be involved in seeing what God does among a group of people over time. Being able to teach strategically with a sense of long term momentum is a lot more gratifying now.

I wonder if I'll ever have that opportunity again.

I hate to be another guy who "used to be a pastor". Theologically I believe every Christian is equally a part of what God is doing, but at an emotional level I had a strong association with being the acknowledged leader of a church. Maybe that was a problem. Maybe God knows I need to find my identity only in being His adopted child, and not in what I do in any particular role. I always said pastor wasn't about the business card or paycheque but just expressing my sincere care for people. I guess now we'll find out if that's true.

I would love to work as a pastor again. I feel that way more strongly tonight than I have in a while. I love what I'm doing now with Catalyst Foundation too, no desire to do something else right now.

I do wonder though...