10 Ways to NOT love your neighbour

I've been thinking a lot about what Jesus means when he tells us we are meant to love our neighbours and why us church people seem to find that so hard. I've been thinking a lot about my neighbours, the people who live on my street and what it would mean for me to love them. Here are ten ways I know that I can show I don't love them:

1. Drive more than 20 minutes to church: If my spiritual community and my geographic community are only connected by highway it is almost certain they will rarely connect. Part of Christian love is desiring to merge those communities.
2. Move more than 3 times in a decade: Love requires familiarity, moving makes it nearly impossible.
3. Never ask for help or admit your struggles: Hiding our faults doesn't make us look more godly, it makes us look fake; fake isn't love.
4. Spend lots of time in your back yard: In the suburbs (where I live) backyards are where we go when we don't want to see people, front yards and driveways are where we might end up in a conversation.
5. Don’t borrow things: Being self-sufficient is ultimately wasteful and exclusive.
6. Invite them out, but only to church events: Treating the folks next door only as projects is offensive.
7. Stereotype them: Take a little time to find out some of the stereotypes people have of Christians, especially evangelicals and you'll understand why this is so harmful.
8. Pray for them without asking permission: This one is a bit sketchy I admit, but how much more loving is it to ask someone what they want from God rather than pursuing your own agenda.
9. Spend at least 4 evenings/week not at home: More nights at church events does not equate to more love for neighbours. When do you expect to know them if you're never around?
10. Have church friends over often: The corollary here is that you don't simultaneously have neighbours over. If our social lives are filled with people from church we give the impression (usually accurate) that we have no interest, need, or time for getting close to those who live next door.

I admit that by these standards I don't love my own neighbours very much...I'm committed to changing that this summer.