Performance Anxiety

Another interesting post from Out of Ur, this time on how spiritual leaders struggle with the expectation to achieve success based on external, measurable criteria. I find myself torn.

On one hand I totally agree with this article: If Scripture shows that faithful and godly leaders can have shrinking ministries (Jesus in John 6), and sinful leaders can have successful ministries (Moses in Numbers 20), then why do we persist in measuring our success simply on the measurable outcomes of our work?
Brothers and sisters, you are more than the measurable outcomes of your work.
I spent several years working for a church in one of the most performance driven communities in Canada. At times I felt the sting of not standing up to the high expectations that always seemed beyond my reach (thankfully, those occasions were few and may ultimately have been more self-imposed than otherwise). I tried to speak out against what I found offensive in the perform or perish culture that I saw in the schools, sports, homes, and workplaces. Looking back I wish I'd done a better job of really understanding and articulating what is so damaging about that paradigm.

However; I also benefited from that culture. It often brought out the best in me. I became better as a leader and as a pastor because there were people around me who wanted to see me develop and didn't allow me to be lazy or hide behind any excuses.

In my role with the Catalyst Foundation I spend a lot of time essentially evaluating leaders and their organizations. I want to support those who are most effective at bringing about good in the lives of others. There was a time when I found discussion of numbers and clear outcomes to be contrary to my sense of ministry, but I don't anymore.

I agree that the measure of any person (the focus on pastors in the article reflects the primary audience of the writer, not a belief that pastors have a harder life than the rest of us I hope) should not be on what they are able to accomplish. We are more than our results. Ultimately we will not be judged based on our curriculum vitae, but on our faithful obedience to God as truly revealed to us.

I want to challenge those who read this article that we need to learn to distinguish between our core identity (i.e. adopted and beloved child of God), and our work (professional or otherwise). In our work we should seek to be productive, knowing that it is not all that we are.

If we don't learn to do that then whatever our work it will be "soul-killing" because no labour, no matter how sincere or serving, is the fulfilment of a human life. Confusing this leads us to either dependence on the opinions of others (which the article rightly critiques), or a rejection of all evaluation and an entirely individualistic standard of life which is so vulnerable to ego and laziness.

In summary, evaluate and improve what can be measured and ruthlessly remember that many things can't.